Today’s fluff loves the Leppard
Thank heavens for World Cup dreams. This transfer window has been among the quietest in the entire history of the world (well, since Fifa made the damn thing compulsory in 2002-03), but the allure of the end-of-season beano in South Africa has eased the Mill’s suffering like dock leaves to a nettle sting. So we say thank you Patrick Vieira, thank you Ruud van Nistelrooy, thank you David James, thank you Ryan Babel and, this week, thank you Klaas Jan Huntelaar. Today Arsenal are back in for the Milan striker. The Gunners want the Dutch goalgetter until the end of the season, though his £65,000-a-week wages are apparently a stumbling block.
Thank you, too, to Portsmouth for being such a shambolic soup-stained tramp of a football club. Steve Bruce is the latest vulture to hover over the carcass. In his gnarled beak is £10m, in his eye a look of hunger for Younes Kaboul. Though that transfer cash, once they’ve wiped the bird spittle off, will keep the club going a while longer, Portsmouth still need a long-term solution to their cash problems. The latest knight in white armour appearing over the horizon is Saadi Gaddafi, son of Muammar, who is “locked in talks” with the club’s current owners.
The Mill should also offer thanks to Birmingham, for being so cash-rich, time-poor and striker-promiscuous. Kevin Kuranyi, Kenwyne Jones and the aforementioned Babel have already slipped through the net, but Blues are now “set to step up” their interest in Tottenham’s Roman Pavlyuchenko and are “ready to pounce” on Ivory Coast forward Aruna Dindane.
The man who dishes out car park passes at Ewood Park is booting up his laminating machine in anticipation of two new arrivals – Monaco striker and Pink-a-alike Eidur Gudjohnsen could be on his way, as could Stuttgart’s Turkey international Yildiray Basturk.
Fulham and Stoke are tangled up in a web of striker intrigue. Stoke want Roma’s Stefano Okaka. Fulham want Roma’s Stefano Okaka. Stoke want Newcastle’s Andy Carroll. Fulham want Basle’s Marco Streller. Newcastle won’t let Stoke have Andy Carroll. Basle’s won’t let Fulham have Marco Streller. The upshot of all that, the Mill reckons, is that Fulham will sign Andy Carroll, Stoke will sign Marco Streller, Basle wil sign Andy Caroll and Newcastle will bag Stefano Okaka. Probably.
Hull want Mido to join Amr Zaki in an all-Egyptian strike partnership, and will pay for him by offloading Kevin Kilbane to Celtic and flogging Stephen Hunt to Wolves for £4m. Brian Laws’ Burnley revolution will continue apace with the signing of Mill stalwart Hayden Mullins, and West Ham want San Lorenzo forward Juan Carlos Menseguez.
ArsenalPortsmouthBirmingham CityFulhamStoke CityHull CityTransfer windowJohn Ashdownguardian.co.uk
